Art, Grief and Mental Health
Communities thrive by telling and sharing stories and different perspectives, as well as new ways of getting through ‘this life’ as happily and healthily as we can. I am so pleased to be able to share one of my stories through this journal and the LAHWN (Leeds Arts and Health and Being Network) and how being creative through art has not only helped my own health and wellbeing, in terms of turning depression into happiness, and getting thought the dark times, but equally how it can elevate normal day to day life, enabling us to feel not just good or okay, but to feel really, really good.
I have had depression and anxiety on and off for many years, for various reasons, dating back to my teenage years. I used and still use various strategies to help, including the mainstream support methods such as talking therapies, medication as well as physical activities and meditation, but recently for me, the most powerful way of helping myself ‘heal’ from the grief of losing my father, has been through creating Art.
5 years ago my Dad passed away unexpectedly and while I thought at the time and probably for a good six months to a year after this event, I had gone through the full process of grieving and fully experienced what loss felt like with a view of how I was going to continue life without him in this world.
It turned out I hadn’t.
Without telling you my whole story, since becoming a mum for the first time 2.5 years ago, I went though a difficult time as every new parent does adjusting to the new way of life. Thrown in with that was a poorly baby for the first 7 months of his life, a traumatic accident, and endless sleepless nights because of it. As I was getting nearer to the end of my maternity leave, I was utterly exhausted and knew I couldn’t go back to a full-time position, as well as be the mum I wanted to be. Equally, becoming a mum and these experiences we had as a family, showed me I had inner strength stronger than I ever knew and it made me realise that I am – we are - meant for more.
A few things aligned, and as the saying goes, events seemed to ‘happen for a reason’ and I found my self practicing art again after many years of not creating (due to what I call ‘being kicked out’ of the ‘art world’ on a few occasions). From the moment I picked my tools back up and put those first strokes onto paper for the first time in a long time, I felt I had found myself again. I felt liberated and free and that I had returned ‘home’.
As my journey has progressed, I grew in confidence and developed my skills and I am now a self-employed artist, working from my garage- studio at my home in Wakefield. I have also just launched a little art studio at Earnshaws, Stocksmoor Rd, Midgley based near gorgeous Yorkshire woodland, connecting with nature which is also so healing for me.
I know my Dad would be proud that I am pursuing something I am passionate about, and he always repeated the phrase, ‘do a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life’. I wish I had thought this ‘dream’ was possible a lot earlier because it is so true. Most days, because of this, my mental health is not just good, but really good. I love working with clients and creating meaningful works of art for their homes/ communal spaces. I am a strong believer in colour theory and how this can also help how we feel and interact with not just art but the whole world around us.
Around 2 years before my dad’s death, he asked me to do a mural painting on his kitchen wall of one of Salvador Dali’s less known works, a landscape of Port Lligat. I always said I would, but I put it off. Life got in the way as it does, and I thought, there’s plenty of time I’ll do it eventually. Turns out although we know it and expect it, the sand in the timer eventually runs out.
Since then, I took time to think about still doing the piece for my dad, and my new creative paths using abstract and intuitive art led me to creating a piece of art not just based on the Port Lligat landscape, but a piece that would represent him and his life. There is meaning in each aspect of the piece I have created; the colours, the composition, and other references.
Going through this creative process has brought out grief that I think had been hiding on a deeper level and it has helped me to really work through the loss of my dad, to the point I feel like he has been there with me on this journey, coming out through the colours and strokes and shapes in the artwork itself. It has felt almost spiritual, helping me go much deeper into my soul to help it to heal.
I would love to talk to anyone who has lost someone and who feels they could reconnect with their loved ones through art and this creative process. It all starts with a conversation and I’d love to talk with you.
I could tell you about all the elements to this piece of art, but unfortunately, I don’t have the word space! However, I absolutely loved this description from a close friend who also recently lost their father. Their perspective has even created a new dimension in terms of interpreting it for myself, and I just love their description, which I think can resonate with others too.
“This piece is so special. It makes me think of a powerful, beautiful storm...like the pain of grieving and loving someone who is not here but also the setting of the sun on your Dad's life as the colours are just like a sunset. The line, for me, is like a heartbeat fading but also, a continuation, life going on, the thread that binds us to those we love who have passed. Your love and pain resonates.”
I have included a video (link below) to show the art I created for my Dad, which will soon be delivered to my sister’s family home where we will all get together on both special and ordinary occasions to raise a glass to him and reminisce of the days that he was with us – both the good times and the bad times.
Often over time, we stop talking about people we love or only talk about them on significant dates, but we need to keep talking whenever the date or time. They are always with us and grief can turn up unexpectedly. Putting our memories of our lost loved ones into a piece of art like this can only help us to keep talking and I have found it also can help us go deeper into our inner thoughts and feelings about them as well as provide a support system for each other. To help us survive and thrive. So. Please. Keep talking. Do some art. Look after each other. Make the most of life and your health and your happiness.
Link to video: https://youtu.be/r08vNxr36k4
